A Farewell to a Frog's Manhood
by Oxenstierna D. Yuki-Rin
Summary: Oneshot. When Keroro is deathly ill, Aki must take desperate measures to cure him. This is actually better  and funnier  than it sounds.


Author's Note: Here is another parody of a story in The Joy Luck Club. This time, it parodies the chapter entitled, "Scar", which has nothing to do with the Fullmetal Alchemist character of the same name.

Disclaimer: Mine Yoshizaki owns Sgt. Frog.

* * *

It was a beautiful day at the Hinata household as Fuyuki was frantically reading books on intergalatic medicine and trying to make various medicines from stuff he had in his kitchen.

"Since the dawn of time, man has used all the resources he can to make medicine. Even remedies of today's common ailments can be found in the fridge, whether it's a carton of milk or that moldy sandwich you were supposed to eat six months ago," The narrator narrated in the background.

"Narrator, please help us! Gunso-san is deathly ill, and we need some sort of cure! If you can cure an intergalatic disease that only affects aliens and is considered a pandemic on five planets, I will give you an onscreen role on S[Beep]t. F[Beep]g!" Fuyuki pleaded as the title of the anime was beeped out.

"Sorry, i'd have to ask my boss," The narrator apologized off-screen.

Meanwhile, Keroro was laying in a hospital bed in his room as the other members of the platoon were acting as doctors (or a nurse in the cases of Tamama and Angol Mois).

"Nurse Tamama, how's the patient doing?" Giroro asked Tamama.

"Shut up! Just because i'm voiced by Brina Palencia in the Funimation dub of this anime does not mean you can typecast me as characters like Tony Tony Chopper or Chibitalia! Especially Tony Tony Chopper, because he's a bipolar doctor, just like me!" Tamama snapped.

"But I thought Tony Tony Chopper was the most cutest thing in the anime universe, kukuku..." Kururu commented.

"Shut your mouth, jerkass! Do you want to get fresh with me?" Tamama asked Kururu.

"I was just saying -" Kururu anwsered before Koyuki fell out of the ceiling and landed on top of Kururu.

"Dororo, how is he?" Koyuki asked Dororo.

"It's not looking good. Since the patient was throwing up very violently, I had to put him in a medically-induced coma. If I sound like i'm in General Hospital, let me commit seppuku. If I sound like i'm in House, give me a cookie," Dororo explained. Koyuki gave Dororo a cookie.

"Saburo will be here shortly with the tourniquet to stem the minor internal bleeding," Dororo continued.

"Saburo is coming? Awesome!" Natsumi yelled.

"Quiet, woman! He's not coming for you!" Dororo yelled.

"Why do you all care about the Boke Gareu so much? Just let him die already," Natsumi said to the platoon.

"But, Natsumi, if you let Keroro die, who will you torture when he's gone?" Dororo asked Natsumi.

"Do not worry, I will just torture Giroro," Natsumi anwsered. Giroro then got a nosebleed.

"Natsumi... Torturing me?" Giroro asked himself. A thought bubble appeared next to Giroro's head. Sequences of Natsumi burning Giroro's arm in a waffle iron, Natsumi hitting Giroro in the head with a golf club, Natsumi tazing Giroro, Natsumi spanking Giroro with a yaoi paddle, and something being pixelated out appeared in the thought bubble.

"Due to the graphical nature of Giroro's fantasies, we have edited it out to save our viewer's sanity. If you want to see it on the director's cut of this episode, too bad, we don't have it," The narrator narrated.

Mutsumi and Momoka entered.

"I've got the medical supplies! Stand back!" Mutsumi yelled to everyone.

"Natsumi, do not worry! The Nishizawa group will pay for all of Keroro's medical expenses!" Momoka told Natsumi.

"No, Fuyuki. Put the Menos Grande back where you found it," Keroro said in his sleep.

"Oh, dear! He's delirious!" Dororo yelled.

"Uncle!" Angol Mois cried.

"General Mom, that's great. Maybe after the Soul Eater cosplay meetup, we can go to Burger King to get some cow flesh and watch Rugrats in Paris," Keroro said in his sleep.

"Oh no! Natsumi, when was the last time you were at a Soul Eater cosplay meet-up, ate at Burger King, and watched Rugrats in Paris?" Koyuki asked Natsumi.

"I never went to a Soul Eater cosplay meetup, I can't remember the last time I was at Burger King, and we saw Rugrats in Paris one week ago, before the Boke Gaeru got sick," Natsumi anwsered. Aki entered the room.

"Okay, i'm home. Is Kero-kun okay?" Aki asked Natsumi.

"No, mom, the Boke Gaeru is delirious," Natsumi anwsered.

"Nooooo! Tite Kubo is being a troll, again! Oh, Setsuna F. Seiei, poor Rangiku and Aizen!" Keroro yelled in his sleep. Natsumi facepalmed.

"Mom, you better save the Boke Gaeru's life so I can kick his ass. He probably spoiled the new chapter of Bleach for us," Natsumi instructed.

"Well, there is one thing I can do. Koyuki, Mutsumi, and Momoka can go home, as they will not be needed," Aki said.

"But I don't want to go home! I wanted to see Fuyuki over something about the Occult Club!" Momoka cried. A few minutes later, Aki was making dinner for Fuyuki and Natsumi while she made some medicine for Keroro.

"Mom, please stay home! Gunso-san is gravely ill, and he'll die if he doesn't get proper care!" Fuyuki pleaded.

"Fuyuki, you know that at work, we're approaching the fifty-page, 250 chapter milestone of Baron Toad, and I need to be back at work by the time dinner is over so I can view the manuscripts," Aki explained.

"But, mom, your inspiration will die a painful and slow death if we do not get him medicine!" Fuyuki cried. Then, he accidentally knocked over the pot of soup, causing some of it to land on Natsumi's hand.

"Ouch! How is this plot-related?" Natsumi asked the narrator.

"It was plot-related in the original The Joy Luck Club. Even I have no idea how getting burned by a boiling pot of soup fits into an ill family member," The narrator explained.

"Fuyuki, please tend to your sister's hand. I'm going to see if we can cure Keroro-kun," Aki instructed as she got out her cell phone and dialed a number.

"Yoshizaki-san, i'll be a few minutes late getting in for my next shift. My muse for our manga has fallen deathly ill, and I need to take drastic measures to cure him," Aki said into the phone.

A few minutes later, Aki, with kitchen knife in hand, goes up to Keroro's room, where he is awakening.

"General Mom, so good to see you. What's that knife for? Ooh! Are we re-enacting that infamous scene from School Days? I'll have Fuyuki go get the boat and i'll gave Kururu put I'm on a Boat on repeat on my iPod!" Keroro yelled.

We cut to an exterior shot of the Hinata household, where we hear Keroro scream out in pain. We then cut back to Keroro's room, where Aki is serving Keroro some miso soup.

"Eat up, you'll get better," Aki told Keroro.

"Hell no! You chopped off my reproductive organs just so I can get better! how can I pick up hot, Pekoponian babes now?" Keroro cried.

"Do you want to live to see new Gundam anime? Then eat the soup!" Aki demanded.

"Who do you think you are? Lorena Bobbit?" Keroro yelled before Aki force-fed him the soup.

"I can taste it now. A future life a la Tiger Woods, gone before my eyes. This sucks," Keroro stated with no emotion.

"I know, but it's to make you get better," Aki said.

A few days later, the Keroro platoon was taking Keroro back to Keron, since the cure didn't really work, but still worked.

"Are you sure he's going to be okay?" Fuyuki asked the platoon.

"Yep. Just needs to get this out of his system," Tamama anwsered.

"Are you going to reattach -" Natsumi asked before Giroro cut her off.

"We thought long and hard about that, and we will not do that," Giroro anwsered.

"Well, goodbye, guys!" Fuyuki yelled to the Keroro Platoon.

"Bye, Hinata family! We'll see you in three days!" The Keroro Platoon yelled.

"Unless a One Piece-esque timeskip happens, and we'll be back in two years, kukuku..." Kururu added as they got into the spaceship and flew into the sky

"Remember, kids, it's okay to dismember your froggy friends. But, only if it's a life-or-death situation. Oh, and the timeskip never happened in this fanfic, just in One Piece," The narrator narrated.

* * *

Ending Note: I'm going to miss the Sgt. Frog anime when it prematurely ends. First D. Gray-man, then Gintama, and now Keroro. That sucks.

Review so Keroro can get better.


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